I Saw a Man Entering the Women’s Bathroom

It wasn’t what it seemed like

3 min readFeb 17, 2024
Photo by Tim Mossholder on Pexels

Kids should be autonomous.

That’s my belief.

Obviously, I am not talking about adult-level autonomy. Kids’ autonomy should be according to their age and skill level.

For example, an infant at the crawling stage should be allowed to crawl instead of being carried everywhere. A toddler who has learned to pour himself water should be allowed to do so.

A preschooler who has learnt the basic tasks like cracking an egg, and toasting bread should have the freedom to do them.

This is a philosophy that I try to apply in my parenting style.

Almost a week ago, we were at a restaurant.

My daughter (a preschooler) needed to use the washroom. The washroom was in our line of sight. That’s why, I told her to go by herself.

She is trained in using the bathroom and washing her hands and everything.

When I looked towards the bathroom after a few moments, I saw a grown man in a blue hoodie halfway in the women’s bathroom. The bathroom where my daughter was standing outside.


I didn’t want her to enter while the man was in there. There were two stalls inside, so I knew he wasn’t inside a stall. He was in the main doorway looking inside.

The scene was creepy, rightfully so.

I commented something to my husband and leaped off of my chair, enraged. As I walked towards the bathroom, the man left the doorway. As I looked at him, I threw him an angry stare and stopped short of saying something.

The angry mom stare was enough to make someone want to disappear.

I ushered my daughter in. As I did, I realized what was really going on.

My daughter went into the empty stall. In the next stall, there was a very old lady who was struggling a bit. I realized that the man (I assumed he was the son) was helping her.

I asked, “Aunty, ap ko help chahiay?” (Aunty, do you need help?)

Her reply wasn’t clear so I went outside. The blue hoodie man was standing at a distance. I asked him if the lady needed help. He said it was fine and told me that she was his grandmother.

“Oh, Shit!” I said to myself.

I felt the need to clarify. “May nay apni baiti ko akeley bhaija tha isliay may thori wo ho gai thi.” (I sent my daughter alone that is why I was a bit concerned.)

I am assuming he understood.

I walked back in. The lady was free and asked me to give her support for walking. As I walked her to the door, she said, “Mera pota bahar khara hay.” (My grandson is outside.) I said “Ji, meri mulaqat hui hay.” (Yes, I met him.)

As we opened the door, he was there to receive her and thanked me.


THANK GOD, I didn’t say anything mean to him when I thought he was in the wrong.

As it turned out, he wasn’t. He wasn’t a creep looking in the ladies’ room. He was a sweet grandson helping his granny while there was no one else inside.

Can you imagine the guilt, had I said something mean to the blue hoodie guy?

Hence, a lesson refreshed.

Sometimes, we are too hasty to form an opinion. That doesn’t help us, or anybody else.

It’s better to reserve judgment and wait for the full picture to emerge.

Thanks for reading!